Water- The Great Equalizer

Now that it’s summer, I can’t help but think about Ryan and his love of water. I was speaking with some friends the other day and they were mentioning that when they took road trips with their kids, they always tried to stay at a place that had a pool. I think this is probably true for many families with small children. The need to get the yah yahs out after a long car ride was and is so necessary. But our experience with Ryan and his ADHD and sensory issues was at a different level. Here I talk about our experience and how water and swimming became the great equalizer.

“Ryan, wait! Ryan, wait! Ryan, waaaaaaaaiiiiiittttt!” I screamed as Ryan ran through the house, through the open sliding door, and straight into the pool. As a large gathering of family members stood in shock, my husband followed Ryan, fully dressed, into the pool after him. Ryan was almost three and hadn’t yet learned to swim. What an entrance to a party!

As a child, Ryan always had a strong love for water.. It was as if an invisible string pulled him along towards any body of water. Whether it was a bath, a swimming pool, a lake or the ocean. He loved that blue, liquid stuff. And getting him out of it once he was in was always a difficult endeavor. It was something we discovered early on, that water for Ryan gave him the sensory input his brain and body needed to manage the constant deluge of information.

As soon as the weather turned warm enough, we were either at our friends’ pools or the local swim club and even prompted us to get a social membership at the local country club, so we could have access to a pool whenever we wanted, and needed.

Once Ryan learned how to swim, he would get into the pool, not by jumping in or slowly wading in, it was a full body stretch out belly flop, that was just hysterical. It was his way of diving, which by the way, he never did master. Why dive in with your head first, when you could make full body contact by belly flopping? It made no sense to him. Everytime he did this, we would just cringe in pain. For him, it was nothing but pure joy. And then for hours he would be constantly moving in the pool. No sitting, no walking, just moving from one side of the pool to the other. And then getting out of the pool and belly flopping again and again. It was so wonderful to watch him.

It was always difficult to extricate Ryan from the pool. Once we were finally able to convince him to get out, get him dressed, get him a snack and go home, it was exhaustion time. Not just for us …..which it was …..but mainly him. As I have mentioned before, Ryan had two speeds: On or Off. Well, he turned off after swimming. It was like all of his energy and ADHD wiring just stopped, and the rest and sleep, blissfully came. So often he would fall asleep on the car ride home. And then once home, we’d have to wake him, get him in the bath or shower, and then have quiet time for the rest of the afternoon and evening. It was better than any medication we could have given him.

Summer family vacations almost always would revolve around water. If we were going to stay at a hotel or resort, there had to be a pool. If we were camping somewhere, there would have to be a lake. If we were visiting friends or family members somewhere, we would have to have access to a body of water nearby. And of course after a dat of traveling, one of the first things we would do was unpack our things and head for the pool.

One of my fondest memories of Ryan’s water need was when we would meet our friends in Anaheim for our yearly Disneyland trip, check in to the hotel on a Saturday afternoon, and then immediately head for the pool. (This was in November mind you. . If there was pool access, Ryan was in it, no matter the temperature or weather.)

I asked Ryan’s sister what she remembered about Ryan and the water phenomena. Her response was “We could never get him out! And then she paused and said, “You know, we always got along best when the two of us were in the water together.” When I asked Ryan, he laughed and said, “I have always felt at one with the water. Still do.” He continued, “being on the water is almost as good as being in it. And when I’m in the water, I still don’t want to get out.

That really hit me. Water is still the calming and equalizing presence in his life. It was the tool that helped him calm his body and mind. I think this is also true for so many other children whether they’re neurodivergent or not. But in Ryan’s case, it was and continues to be a Godsend.