Summertime!

“School’s out for summer!” The iconic Alice Cooper song, sung at the top of our lungs by my generation every last day of school was a given. The next 3ish months were spent swimming, reading, hanging with friends, going to camp and just sleeping in. Ahh the memories. The break from homework, and not having to use our brains every day was so welcome. This is a memory that every child should have, but increasingly it seems, this just doesn’t seem to be the case. Just about everyday I see posts from parents on Social Media or in chat rooms, just losing their minds about what and how they’re going to keep their kids active during the summer.

Whether you’re a stay at home parent, a single full time working parent or part of a full time working couple, figuring out what you’re going to do to keep your kids busy all summer can be quite the challenge.. The questions vary from whether something is affordable (any kind of summer camp can be expensive, and sleepaway camp can be exorbitant) , to whether or not summer school is needed, or in the case of multiple children, having different activities for each child. Mentally and emotionally it can be a strain. Bottom line? As wonderful as summer is for children, many times for parents it’s more stressful than when school is in session. You may not have the homework, making sure they get to bed on time and getting them to school every morning, but what do you do with them all day in the summer?

Let’s add on the extra pressure of having a child with ADHD. How do you find balance in helping your neurodivergent child have downtime, have fun, catch up on academics, have structure, get physical activity, catch up on doctor’s visits, plus deciding on whether or not to give the child a break from their meds?

It’s this added layer of decisions, issues and challenges that can really trip up parents of an ADHD child. And an even larger challenge if you add typical siblings to the mix.

There’s two words of advice that I have for the parent(s) of an ADHDer when it comes to summer. Plan ahead, plan ahead, plan ahead!! Okay, that’s 6 words! Waiting until the last week of school to figure out the summer plans for your kid is just asking for a lot of added stress. Please take it from someone (me) who has been down this road. If you know in advance what your summer is going to look like, then you will be able to enjoy it better. Your child(ren) will thank you and you will thank you. You might even be able to fit in some special time for yourself.

I know, maybe I should have written about this sooner. You might already find yourself behind the eight ball and are running around screaming like a mad person. Alright – just stop a minute and breathe! There still might be time for you to change things. First things first.

First, think twice about whether you want to give your child a break from their meds. We tried giving Ryan a break from meds for a short period one summer. Really big mistake. Ryan was/is impulsive. It just didn’t work when he was at camp with other kids. It was really unfair to him (not to mention those around him) when he acted out and when he just couldn’t control himself. He couldn’t focus on an activity for very long. He could not sit still, and no one wanted to be around him. At home, life became even more chaotic. Ask yourself, what is the purpose of giving your kid a break from their meds? Do your own research about giving children a break from ADHD meds. Talk to other parents who have or have not given their children a break. Talk to your health professional., and make sure they don’t just wave a hand and say “Sure, go ahead. There’s nothing wrong with that.” That’s not a fully informed discussion. Discussing the pros and cons should be fully addressed.

Second, find activities that your ADHDer really really loves and has interest in doing. If you choose a day camp that you think will be fun, but your kid has no interest in, be prepared for a challenge. We found inexpensive, local parks and recreation programs that provided half day camps, covering a variety of subjects that Ryan was interested in, as well as some physically active sports camps. He attended summer school for a few years which was always just a half day to help him with catching up. Afternoons were spent around water – whether going to the beach or going to the pool.

Third, attempt to not overdo anything. Keep things as simple as possible, Keep a routine. Keep to a bedtime schedule. This will help the ADHDer know what’s coming next, will help them get the sleep they need, and prevent meltdowns, Not scheduling too much will also help you -the parent. You won’t be pulling your hair out or be overwhelmed. Afterall, you want to enjoy the summer too. And remember, you don’t have to do it all. Summer is a time to reconnect with your kids, even if you work full time. When you come home after a busy day at work, and your ADHD child has had a day that has met all of their physical and mental needs, they will be happy. A bit tired perhaps, but your sun filled evenings will be a more relaxed evening.

And by the way – Have a Happy and safe 4th of July!

“Summer is the time when it is too hot to do the job that it was too cold to do last winter.”

1. Mark Twain