Procrastination

Typical conversation:

Monday- Me: “So, have you finished your paper yet? It’s due on Friday.”

Ryan: “No, but don’t worry, Mom, I’ll get it done.”

Tuesday – Me: “So have you finished your paper yet?”

Ryan: “No, Mom! I told you not to worry, I’ll get it done!”

Wednesday – Me: “Is your paper done?”

Ryan: “I told you I’ll get it done!”

Thursday – Me: “Ryan, how’s that paper coming along?”

Ryan: “I’m doing it today, leave me alone! It’ll be fine! But I’m stressed and now I’m going to be working on it all day and can’t do anything else.”

End story: Ryan works hard on it last minute, turns it in and gets a good grade. As for me? I have more gray hair, and my blood pressure rises. But what do I expect? This is his modus operandi. And when he works like this, the work he turns in on time is usually quite good. At the same time, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Some of my best work has been done in a crunch.

I’ve talked about time blindness, the ADHD tax and executive functioning. Procrastination can fall under those categories, but I think it deserves its own time in the limelight. Many of us struggle with procrastination even if we don’t have ADHD. But for those with ADHD, many struggle with and yet thrive in that crazy, time crunching, super producing time when delivery of a product has come down to the wire. Why is that?

Well, let’s see. Lack of interest, lack of motivation, and time blindness. Have you heard this before: I just don’t want to do it, it’s not interesting. Or, I really like the subject, but I can’t get myself to start. Or, I have plenty of time to get it done, so I can start on it later. Or it’s a feeling of now, not now, which is the strong pull to go to a party right now, instead of working on the not now homework that isn’t due for a few days.

All of these reasons for not writing the paper or doing the project are common issues for the ADHD brain. But what happens so often, is that the ADHDer can work extraordinarily well when the pressure is on and the end result can be quite brilliant!

It may all come down to that neurotransmitter, dopamine. According to WebMD, “Our nervous system uses dopamine to send messages between nerve cells. It plays a role in how we feel pleasure. It’s a big part of our unique human ability to think and plan. It helps us strive, focus, and find things interesting.” You can guess by this description, that the ADHD brain either lacks dopamine, or dopamine receptors are lacking or both. This simply explains why an ADHDer will procrastinate, and it surely explains why when the pressure is on, that dopamine increases and activates that brain to get the work done, and gets the work done well and quickly.

This is the way some people like to live. But many people don’t like to live like this and many have partners, parents and bosses who just can’t understand or accept that this is how their loved one or employee is wired. And like everything else, there are tools and supports that the ADHDer can use that may work well for them, so that procrastination can be held at bay.

Stimulant and non stimulant ADHD medications are one way to help. But most often, medication alone isn’t the only answer. Other support systems and tools need to be explored to help manage the procrastination. Writing to do lists, chunking the project into smaller pieces, working backwards from the due date to schedule in times and specific action items on the calendar are some tools to use. Employing a coach to help organize the steps to the finished product or using a writing tutor or educational therapist can also help if the ADHDer is a student.

One of my favorite tools is body doubling. Finding someone you can work with side by side, whether it’s in person or on a zoom call can be very effective. Showing up and being accountable to someone else, can be very powerful. One person will be working on something they need to do, and the other person will be working on something they need to do. Whether it’s homework, decluttering, paying bills, exercising or any other kind of project, just having someone else “next” to you, gives a person a wonderful feeling of accomplishment..

Even if you find and you think that living in your procrastinating world is working well for you, is it really? In the long run it’s probably not. It may cause you to lose sleep, cause undue anxiety and stress, and cause breakdown in your relationships as well as putting everything else in your life on hold while you focus on that “thing” that has to get done, and then having to ignore everything else in your life.

Consider learning about tools that may help you, or the ADHDer in your life. Try some of the above tools, or work at discovering something else that may work for you. Be an advocate and discover great possibilities.

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well.” – Mark Twain