Positivity

In the past I  have been accused of being a negative person.  Not sure where my negative attitude comes from.  Maybe being allowed over my entire life to verbalize my dramatic self, or my seeing life at times to be full of difficulties and pain.  I have struggled with seeing the glass  half empty instead of half full.   Whatever the reason, the lows of the valleys have seemed  to overtake my highs of the mountain top.  In reality, when I stop and look at my life, the reality is, that’s just not true.  Sure there have been some mighty difficulties to overcome.  Maybe it’s my wiring, or I don’t always see the positives in daily life.  Or maybe it just makes me feel better in a weird way when I complain about every tiny itty bitty thing that may be wrong, or a bit off, or whatever.  I have had  to work really hard at being positive.  Really hard.  

 Someone may say, well you may have reasons to be negative, afterall, you have had to raise Ryan with his ADHD and learning differences.  The struggles and hills to climb with him have been and still are difficult.  While that is true, and I have been in the deep depths of despair, I have had to learn to focus on the positives.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t get up in the morning.  

Biologically speaking,  there is one specific hormone  and one specific hormone/neurotransmitter that are being released when I am either in a positive or a negative mood.  These chemicals  have a serious effect on a person physically.   Negativity releases cortisol (the stress hormone) and positivity releases dopamine (the feel good hormone and neurotransmitter).  And negative thoughts can last so much longer and cause cortisol to hang out so much longer than positive thoughts and dopamine.  We all know how hard it is to get out of sad, negative thoughts, and how easy it is to ruminate on the worries and sadness in our lives.  On the flip side, we have to work harder to think positively and keep our dopamine up. 

 Cortisol is a stress hormone and can be quite damaging in the long run.  All you have to do is google it.  Dopamine on the other hand plays a role in how we find pleasure.  It helps  us to find things interesting and helps us focus and helps us to do things we want and need to do.  It’s really important, right?  So those of us with ADHD brains, many times get stuck in negativity because, wouldn’t you know it?  There is a lack of dopamine.So there’s an actual biological reason for someone like me who struggles with negativity.  I have to work extra hard to find the positive in life and get out from under the negative.    

My husband recently mentioned to me that my blog had taken a bit of a dark turn lately and could use some maybe happier uplifting content.  Well, I write what I know and I write about the things that are either happening at the moment, or about things that have happened recently that I feel I need to write about.  You might say that you can tell what kind of place I’m in by what the subject matter is in my posting of the week.  I think this is true in general terms and especially true over this recent summer.  I had been wallowing in a cortisol induced way of living.  And it was having an effect on my relationships with my family.  (Don’t worry, this will all have a positive ending!)

Living in my own ADHD brain, and living with the other ADHDer (Ryan) in my life,  has taught me to be aware of these cortisol inducing times and to work at climbing out of the valley to find the positives in life.  You’d think that it would be easy.  Maybe for some people.  But when you lack the dopamine, you have to find ways to turn that neurotransmitter on.  

Wouldn’t it be great if you could turn on the switch like a light switch?  Stimulant medications for ADHD increases dopamine signaling.  The results of taking these medications are clear to see, when the ADHDer can now pay attention better, focus better and learn better.  Those of us who choose not to take medications for whatever reason,  need to find and use strengths to get “our dopamine on”.    Things like, figuring out what gets you moving in the morning.   Doing something fun or meaningful first, can really help.  Especially in my case.  It helps me with having a positive attitude and gets me moving.  If I wane in positivity during the day, then I take a few time outs , just 5-10 minutes to do something enjoyable – reading, watching a favorite sitcom, or playing a game, just to reset my brain a bit, so I can laugh a bit, so I can move on to doing another difficult task like having a difficult discussion with Ryan, or my daughter or my husband!  

I know I went down a hole here a bit. But having a positive attitude is so important for a happy fulfilled life.  I know that.  I get it.  But for some of us, it’s not always easy to maintain.  Whether it’s a wiring thing, a life experience thing or a whatever thing.  I have to work on it- daily.  Sometimes, many times a day.  And when a sad or difficult event has happened, I try to find something positive in that darkness.  I know in my heart and brain that finding the positive things in every situation will only help me manage the negativity and give me the dopamine rush that I need.  It’s better for me physically, emotionally, mentally and for my relationships.  

There are those of us out there who may not have ADHD, but find ourselves also wallowing in negativity.  Find a way to get your dopamine on.  Positivity in life is necessary.  It literally makes you feel better.  Use some of my ideas above, or pray, or sing, or spend time with a friend who has a good sense of humor, or do something for someone else.   Do whatever it takes to get your dopamine on!!!

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” -Mark Twain’s Notebook