Life with Ryan – Father’s Day Edition

With Father’s Day approaching, it seemed like a good time for another guest blog by Ryan’s dad, so here goes:

One of the challenges with raising Ryan as a father was finding activities that we could do together as father and son. Sports was one thing that we tried, as I love playing and watching, so I figured this would be a good thing to try. When Ryan was in elementary school, he tried playing basketball as we had a hoop in our driveway for him to practice and play, but it just didn’t hold his attention. He and I still go out on occasion to play, but it’s not something that he really enjoys even though I very much enjoy it.

Watching sports was something completely different. We watched some football and basketball on tv, but the real fun was in going to games in person. We went to quite a few college football games, and I think it was the spectacle and the food as much as anything that kept his interest. The same thing with the few baseball games that we went to together or as a family. I don’t think Ryan was always able to follow the game very well, but that didn’t matter. As he got older, we were able to get to several hockey games together, and those were a lot of fun. The constant action and excitement of live hockey was great for Ryan. We really shared some fun times at those games and have some great memories rooting for our teams.

Other activities that we tried early on revolved around camping, and that was something that Ryan ended up really enjoying. Being in the outdoors with the ability to wander and explore helped Ryan find a niche, and I think that is why Boy Scouts was a great fit for him. Scouting was certainly one area where we bonded and had many great experiences together, as I became an Assistant Scoutmaster in Ryan’s troop. We went on many outings and camping trips together, but on those trips, I also made sure to leave him on his own, to enjoy those adventures with his fellow scouts and focus on scouting and not me. And Ryan attended many more outings without me for that very reason. Overall, I really enjoyed either spending time with him or simply watching him be happy and having fun.

Ryan and I really enjoyed, and still enjoy being outdoors in nature together. Hiking and exploring is something that works well for him because his mind is always going fast. and being outdoors there is so much to see and experience, question, and understand. We are fortunate to live in a neighborhood where there is much to see in nature, as a creek runs by our house and there are many walking and hiking trails in our area. It is funny, as sometimes Ryan will resist a walk or hike, wherever it might be, as there are video games to be played and shows to be watched. But as soon as we start our adventure, Ryan seems to forget about all of that, and he becomes immersed in the activity.

Fishing is another activity that Ryan and I really enjoy doing together. I grew up learning to fish from my father, and I really wanted to pass that on to Ryan. So it was great that Ryan hasn’t fallen far from the tree. We have gone lake and ocean fishing together many times on camping trips, scouting trips, and family trips and have gone numerous times to our favorite fishing lodge in Canada where Ryan will be volunteering this summer. And of course, we were fortunate to have several outings together with my father; trout fishing in the Sierras and salmon fishing in Canada. Those were really special times to be able to share with my father and son together, and my dad really treasured those outings and fishing trips.

Ryan and I also bond over music and movies. Over the years, Ryan has developed a deep interest in the music that I grew up listening to – classic rock of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, and even some modern rock bands and artists. We have had some great discussions over the years about rock music, and he has great appreciation for it, to the point where he has now taken three college classes on music. We are now constantly sharing songs and artists with each other. Our movie interests are also similar, with the most recent seeing of the new Top Gun movie together. We have also found that watching other series of movies together like The Lord of the Rings or action movies really has helped us bond. And the discussions following the movies are always entertaining with him. You never know what his take might be on a scene or movie but guaranteed- it will be interesting.

With Father’s Day coming up, it’s great to have areas of interest that we can share together, enjoy, and bond through. Life with Ryan is not easy, but those activities and points of interest that we can share make all the difference in the world. They have given us great moments and memories, and much to look forward to enjoying together.

So, to all the dads out there, Happy Father’s Day. Being a good father is a lot of work, and with a child who presents significant challenges, the workload can increase vastly. But if you can find those things that you can do and enjoy together, to develop great memories and motivation for future times together, it will all be worthwhile.

“Good fathers not only tell us how to live, they show us.”

— Mark Twain