Home Again

So here we are. Ryan is not just home for spring break but for probably the spring term. Thank you Corona virus!! Really not excited. But what are you gonna do? Laugh, cry, rail, scream? Yep, all of it. Spin it in to something positive? Absolutely.

So what is college spring term going to look like? An extended week of spring break and then classes online using Zoom and Google hangout. FaceTime with therapists, doctors and tutors. It’s a difficult transition made more difficult by someone who likes to think in black and white and needs structure, and has difficulty with not knowing exactly where things are going in his life. And another huge transition by his dad and I to having Ryan home again.

I have found myself returning to some old habits. None of them very helpful. Pushing, prodding and controlling aspects of Ryan’s life that I really dont want to. My expectations have changed since he left for school in the fall. I have higher expectations. That he will be more mature and able to manage things more independently. Well, I haven’t even given him the chance. I’ve not really even given him the chance. I’ve been on him like white on rice. (OK what does that even mean?)

So I’m back to the drawing board, trying to listen to Ryan telling me that he’s got this, that I need to step back and take a deep breath. Emotions are running high more so than usual, with this stay at home business. I need to take out my tools from my own bag and remind myself how to use them. To be more patient, kind, compassionate and giving to Ryan, my husband, myself and everyone else in my realm.

And to you parents who have typical kids, this is extremely hard on you too. The memes I’ve seen on social media about homeschooling grade school children are quite funny, but do have a hint of truth in them. This isn’t what you signed up for and yet here you are! And for my friends who have college kids back for the rest of the year – I’m sure you’re happy they’re home, but it sure still upsets the milieu of home life. The emotions are running high in college kids – they don’t want to be home, they don’t want to be away from their social life. And they sure don’t want their parents being on their backs about school and studying either. There’s just so much to navigate in this new order of things.

And to you teachers, you have my support. Navigating a new way to teach students is a tall order. I’m sure it wil be frustrating and a little scary to learn new technology. My hat is off to you! A special thank you goes out to Ryan’s academic coach. You are truly a blessing.

And finally to the parents of special needs/learning difference kids: I’m in it with you. This is going to be an especially difficult time. I’m here to talk if you want, to support and share ideas or just to listen.

It will be interesting to see how we manage the next few weeks or longer. Time to slow down, reset and be grateful. Take care of yourselves, so you can take care of others.

“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” -Benjamin Franklin