Getting Ready to Get Ready

You have a new project to do.  You:

1.  Think about how exciting this project is.

2. Become a bit overwhelmed by the enormity of it.

3. Think a little more about it, and what it might take to start getting organized.

4. Research how you might organize said project.

5. Go down the rabbit hole of all the calendars you can use, project manager apps and websites, office supply websites, and Pinterest to get ideas on what and how to organize the project.  

6. Decide what apps, websites etc. to use.

7. Go down the rabbit hole again and spend an inordinate amount of time learning how to use those apps, websites, calendars etc.

8. Put all the project information, deadlines, and to do lists in the apps and organizer and calendar that you spend a crazy amount of time learning how to use..

9. Want the process to be perfect.

10. Have made the decisions on how to proceed to actually start the project, but you are so exhausted by getting ready that you have no energy left to actually begin the work on the project. 

The above is known as getting ready to get ready.  That stage when we think and plan about a project that is presented to us.  In a simpler explanation: You have a party to go to.   You think about what you’re going to wear to the  party, (the getting ready to get ready)  and then you put on those clothes. (getting ready)    Then you actually go to the party (the project).  

Do you see yourself in the above?  And if you do, how often has this happened to you?  This happens to a lot of people I know.    If you have ADHD, then this might happen to you,  a lot.  You get so excited and very interested  about a project – whether it’s school or work or home, or arts and crafts.  You start thinking about it and coming up with all kinds of ideas about it, buying supplies, and planning and then you just fizzle out, because you’ve spent all of your brain energy on that pesky getting ready to get ready.  You may even have family and friends who look at you and say “Well, here she goes again!  She’ll never finish that project but she’ll buy everything for the project and never finish it!”  They simply don’t understand you and why you do the things you do.  And you don’t understand yourself either.   You end up feeling bad and embarrassed over your inability to actually accomplish anything. 

What to do?  With anything, you have to realize that your behavior isn’t doing you any favors.  Of course, going it alone and attempting to change your behavior may be difficult and maybe even impossible.  And this behavior has taken up residence in your brain for many years, because quite simply, it’s just the way your brain works.    Your brain will probably not be willing to change willingly and may even fight you at every turn.  You can’t rewire your brain, but you can use tools that will help you be more successful.  If you ask for help from someone who  is a close friend, ally, co-worker or family member when a new project comes up, that can be a big help to give you a pause and think a bit before you jump in with your entire body.  Maybe take time before you have a project to find a system that will work for just about any kind of project.  And then use that one consistently.    If you don’t have anyone who is willing or is able to help, then a coach can help you identify a system or develop one that can be personalized to your learning style.  

I have a confession.  This getting ready to get ready, is  me all over.  And I’m going through it right now, as I am moving from a home and area that I have lived in for over twenty six years to a new home  350 miles away.  Needless to say, I am quite overwhelmed and am spinning my wheels at getting ready to get ready to move.  So far, I am using three tools to help me manage this gigantic project.  First,  I have my husband who is a clear, non ADHDer thinker.  He is the epitome of organization.  I am lucky and blessed to have him.  Throughout each day, we frequently check in with each other and discuss what we are working on and add or remove  tasks.   Second,  I have my own coach who has helped me figure out what kind of organizational system that will work best for me.  This has cut down my research of systems to nothing.  I’m keeping it simple, and I have not had to learn how to use those wonderful but high learning curve apps that are out there. My system is as uncomplicated and easy as possible.  My husband has accepted this system, and works with it as well, so that we have one system between us.  I call the system “The Brain”.  .  Third, every morning before I start my day, I sit down at my desk and write out my to-do list for the day.  As I finish something, I cross it out, which gives me a little bit of joy and motivation to keep going.  And maybe that’s the bottom line here.  Keep it simple.  Keep it easy.  It may not be the most up to date system, but it works for me, and keeps me from wandering through the house aimlessly. 

As I continue to get ready to get ready, this will slowly transition into getting ready to move, and then the move.  I am determined to not completely lose my marbles.  There is hope, as I have my tools and support system in place.  

“Plan for the future, because that is where you are going to spend the rest of your life”         Mark Twain