GAMING

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! There, I’ve said it. Ryan on the other hand loves it, loves it, loves it! This is not going to be an uplifting post, and a little bit of a rant. (or a lot of a rant) Ryan is now going on his fourth week home from school and is in his second week of distance/online learning. It has been a struggle. Adan I’m sure many of you reading this who have kids of school age and college age, having them home all day every day trying to attend school would agree. It’s hard for the kids too, having their parents be on them a lot to get work done, and to all of a sudden be back home under their parents thumbs and rules. Their independence stripped from them. Them being able to do whatever they want, when they want, without the eyes of their parents on them all the time.. And life as we knew it just all came to a screeching halt with this stupid stupid virus.

My expectations of Ryan have been high. I expect him to help around the house. I expect him to be helpful. I expect him to exercise. I expect him to take his classes and get his homework done. I expect not to have to constantly ask him if he’s getting all of his school work done. And what I see more than anything is the inordinate amount of time he’s spending gaming. I’m getting major push back from him. “Mom, stop being on me all the time. I’ve got this. Leave me alone!” I feel like we’re back in his high school days. Part of the problem is that I’m home as well. The small amount of work I do for our company I do from home. I see what Ryan does all day long. The house is small, his gaming is done in the family room and I can hear it all. I don’t want to hear any of it.

OK, I will admit that there are some positives. This is one way for him to connect with his friends that he is unable to see. He’s connected with some of his friends that he hasn’t talked to since the beginning of his winter quarter, as he doesn’t have the ability to game while he’s at school. (We drew the line with him taking his console to school. That was non negotiable) So it’s given him an outlet to keep in touch. But that’s it. I can’t think of anything else that’s positive about it.

Gaming has always seemed to make Ryan more anxious and at times more angry. I know this is the world of gaming. When things don’t go the way you want in the middle of the game, it’s upsetting. I get that. All of us who like to play any kind of game or sport, who like to win or are competitive get like this. But goodness, this world of gaming can be so over the top. Ryan has the perfect personality for the worst kind of storm possible. I don’t like what it does to him. I don’t like how it seems to just take over his personality. Is he obsessed? Yes, I think he is. Will he admit it? No.

So what have we done to try and curb this all? Daily conversations in the morning. What is his schedule? When are classes, when is homework time, when is work out, when and what is chore time, when is gaming? We’ve at least been able to finally work this out. And yes, it’s been like banging our heads against the wall at times. Trying not to push too hard, but pushing just enough. We’ve generally agreed that there’s no gaming after dinner, as that has become time for all of us to play a game or watch a movie together. And we are all trying really hard to not control every aspect of Ryan’s life. He wants to be succesfful and we want to help him be successful. I do try to step back, but it’s truly difficult. Thankfully we also have Ryan’s academic coach, writing tutor and professors to help keep him on track.

But, as I sit here and listen to him play, I hear joy in his voice as he talks with his friends. Do I need to lighten up? Maybe. In the grand scheme of life right now, is it really worth my angst? Probably not. Thanks for reading my rant. Now, on to more calming activities….