Empathy and Compassion

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past of present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicative do in an objectively explicit manner.

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, compassion is sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.

Empathy and compassion are not easily found or a given when it comes to friends, family and even educators in regards to our kids with learning differences. It is something that at times has been painfully lacking in Ryan’s life.

One thing that I’ve noticed over the years is the lack of empathy and compassion for those that have a difference or disability that is not physical in nature. If the disability is obvious, it’s “easier’ for others to see and accept those who have these differences. (On a side note – I don’t like to use disability when I define Ryan. I like to use differences. He is not disabled, he learns differently).

Nothing has broken my heart more than to see Ryan being ignored, bullied, and left alone because of his non physical difficulties. He’s lost friends, we as a family have lost friends, and I personally have lost friends. And we’ve even had to deal with family members who do not have the ability to show empathy or compassion.

Compassion and empathy I believe do not come naturally. It needs to be taught to children by their parents, and they need to see it in action by their parents.

So what can we as parents of these spectacular children do? First, we need to practice compassion and empathy. Teach our own children how to treat others. Our own children should learn to treat others the way they would like to be treated. Second, we need to be advocates for our kids. Educate others about who are children are. Tell them how much it hurts us and our children when they are dismissive. Explain how a little kindness and friendliness can go a long way. And last, develop a thick skin. There will be times (and sometimes often) when no matter what we do, others will not understand. It will be their loss.