Camp and the mountain top experience

Here’s my advice.  Send your neurodivergent kid to camp.  The end.

I could end it there, But I won’t.

Ryan’s first experience at sleepaway summer camp came when he was eleven and in his first year of Boy Scouts. We were all so very excited for him, and very much for us, his family.

Before Ryan became a boy scout, we did not send him to sleepaway camp for two reasons. One, we felt that his ADHD would be too difficult for the camp to manage him and second, we felt that the cost outweighed the benefit. I look back on the decisions we made at the time and still feel that we made the right decision. I believe that camp would have not just been difficult on him, but it would have been difficult for his counselors and other campmates. But at eleven years old, Ryan understood who he was, was able to verbalize his needs, and the camp experience would teach him how to become self sufficient and self regulated. This doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a lot of angst before he went.

This summer, like last summer, I have the privilege to work at a camp as a camp nurse. This week, I’m at the camp reviewing camper forms, reading about each of the campers and discovering all of their unique needs physically, mentally and emotionally. The notes from the parents about their children many times puts me into fits of laughter. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t me being mean, it’s me seeing myself on the page. All the worry and angst and neuroses of the parents all believing that their child has all of these needs and issues and they need this, and they needs that, and please help them with this, or give them that, reminds me of myself and how very scared I was to send Ryan to camp. And then I think, well this kid really needs to get away from home. They need a break from their parents and their parents need a break from them. And how awesome a time these kids are going to have.

Most of the time, the camper thrives, makes friends, has a good time, and most of the concerns of the parents, just goes out the window. They grow, learn about themselves and discover that yes, they can be on their own without mom, dad, or guardian watching them every second of the day.

And it’s just as good for the parents as it is for the camper. Respite is needed when you have a neurodivergent child. For the first few days, it can be brutal being away from your child. I almost made myself sick the first few times Ryan went away. But you know what? I got through it and after a day or two, I hadn’t heard from camp and truly realized that no news is good news. I wasn’t going to get a call from anyone unless there was a problem.

The experience of going to camp without a parent watching every single thing that their child does is so freeing for the camper. And it shows them that yes, they will be fine without their parents. That yes, they can take their meds away from home, yes, they can sleep just fine, and yes they can participate in everything that the camp has to offer. Many sleep away camps have counselors, staff and medical staff that learn about their campers before they come, and may even have a zoom meeting with the parents of the camper before they come so they make sure that they really understand who the camper is. For Ryan, boy scout camp was a bit different as his “counselors” were Assistant Scoutmasters from his troop and already knew Ryan well. They were the ones who helped Ryan learn how to manage himself and gave him his medications every day. They were available for him if he needed extra help in understanding the activities of the day and the schedule.

Not once did I get a phone call from camp. Ryan did come home with all kinds of things missing from his duffel bag. Just like any kid. But every time he went to camp and came home, he was literally a “happy camper”. He always had a good time, He always wanted to go back, even if he had trouble falling asleep at night, or didn’t get enough sleep. (That is just truly a given. Noone ever gets enough sleep at camp!)

Here’s a word about affordability. Many camps are just out of financial range for many families. Boy Scout and Girl Scout camps are fairly affordable but there are scholarships available for those scouts whose families aren’t able to afford it, and there’s opportunity during the year for scouts to earn funds toward camp. Many religious and church camps are very expensive, but also have scholarships available and many times there are ways to raise funds earlier in the year by the camper as well. It can be a bit shocking at how much camp costs, but there are ways to help.

There’s nothing like having an incredible summer camp experience. And there’s no reason why a neurodivergent child can’t experience it like a neurotypical kid. A bit of planning ahead of time did us well. And the first time he went I was a wreck. But like I said, we got no phone calls while he was gone. And Ryan liked camp so much that he worked at a camp last summer. There’s simply nothing better than going to sleep away summer camp and getting that mountain high. I remember it, do you? Give your child that same experience. It will stay with them for a lifetime.